The Story Behind The Photo
I took this photo of myself on December 24, 2020 at the top of Picketpost Mountain in Superior, Arizona after I solo hiked Picketpost Summit Trail. Picketpost Summit Trail is not for the faint of heart. It is a 4.2 mile out and back trail with 2070 feet of elevation gain and is rated "Hard" by AllTrails. I had only been hiking for a five months, but I had decided I was going to do it. I was celebrating for me, my best girlfriends, and for all women. My story is below.
The Beginning
Every photo has a story, and here's this one's. I had a life changing transformation on my 50th birthday in 2019 and spend all of 2020 rebuilding myself. In August of 2020 I added solo hiking to my healing as it was something I had always wanted to do but was terrified. I quickly became very good at it. A short time later I reconnected with a friend, we'll call him Tom, and we started dating. Tom is a very outdoor oriented person and has lived in the Phoenix, Arizona area for over 30 years and has done a lot of the hiking trails, driven many of the off roading roads and is also and avid camper and cyclist. And he took me on all kinds of outdoor adventures and we had a great time. This this was my first experience dating as the "new me" and we were getting closer and closer and I was super excited. One night together he shared with me the video from his weekend off road trip. He explained that the woman he was with was his friend--I hadn't asked about her, but ok... thanks for the explanation I wasn't asking for. Anyway, I didn't hear from him as much as I usually had the next week. So, that following Friday, on December 21, 2020, he dumped me stating that dating me made him realize how much he missed his ex-girlfriend. Ouch, right? But, ok. Good luck with that, I wish you all the best!
Well, in our time together Tom said that he wanted to take me up Picketpost Summit. It was the one trail he had yet to do because it has a reputation of being difficult and he just hadn't gotten around to doing it. So... with all my 5 months of hiking experience and my confused heart, I decided that for Christmas, I was going to hike it, alone, as a present to myself. And do it for myself and the wonderful women who had supported me. And off I went.
I prepared. I read the reviews on what to bring and what to expect. I downloaded the trail to my phone from AllTrails. And the night before, I packed my hydration bag, gloves, vest, and all the other things I needed. On Christmas Eve, December 24, 2020, I got in my Jeep and left Phoenix, Arizona and headed to Superior, Arizona to Picketpost Trailhead in Tonto National Forest. I arrived, got ready, and headed out. (continued below)
The Middle
So I hiked. And I started to ascend. And the terrain got rougher and steeper and less stable. And I got lost. Yep! Really lost. And lost a lot! I felt a couple pangs of horribleness for putting my mother through this, because I know she watches most of my hikes from her computer back at home--she's my emergency contact and I share my location with her. And I imagined a few times her nerves being shot as she watched the orange line of my GPS location go off in circles and loops and every which way to eventually come back on course. But, I centered myself and brought myself back to the task at hand because I knew that my mom knew that I had been lost before and I had always come home. And I knew that I knew that I could figure anything out and I could do this--controlled anxiety. So, I continued and I hiked.
And that hiking soon turned to climbing or scrambling or bouldering--not quite sure what its called as I was relatively new to the sport of hiking. All I knew what that I was on all fours climbing up rocks to stay on this trail. I fell. I tripped. I landed on rocks and plants and even a cactus. But I got up and I kept moving forward and up. I was dirty, tired, bloody, challenged, completely alone and it was hard! I was grateful to the hikers before me who painted red arrows on rocks to show me the way. I was grateful to the hikers before me who made rock cairns to show me the way. I was grateful to see a father/daughter couple hiking the trail together--yep, they passed me. I was hurting. It was hard. But I was fine. I knew I was going to do this. (continued below)
The Summit
So I kept going. And I kept tripping and getting lost and getting hurt. And I was fine. I saw the father/daughter couple ahead of me and I was grateful for them. And I was getting to the top. I knew it because the terrain was leveling out and I could feel the wind becoming stronger. And there it was--the top! But, it was so big! And there was supposed to be a mailbox here, I mean, it's Picketpost, right? It took me a good 20 minutes of walking through needle nose, knee high, grass looking for trails or any sort of sign as to where I'm supposed to be going. And then I saw something that looks like it shouldn't be there. A metal circle on the ground, like a compass or a plaque or something. Perfect! I have to be close!! And, again, I looked and looked and I did not see the mailbox... until I did! It was not mounted. It had fallen off its post and was on the ground. I had officially made it! I screamed with joy! I was so proud of myself and so elated I danced and laughed and just absolutely rejoiced!! I picked up the mailbox and hugged it! I took to many pictures with it! I was just overwhelmingly overjoyed! I was so very proud of myself!! I did it!! I wanted to do it and I just did it! Then I realized that the mailbox seemed heavy. I opened it and saw previous hikers had left food. How sweet, I thought. So, I reached into my bag, and left some, too. I closed the mailbox, held it, and sat on the summit and just took in the amazing view. I didn't even think to take any real pictures of the view, just the one with the mailbox. It was amazing. I just relaxed for a bit, not long, because it was cold and windy on the summit and I knew I had to keep moving before my body cooled down too much. So, I bid farewell to the mailbox, leaving on a rock high enough so it was easy for the next hiker(s) to see it and I started my descent. (continued below)
The Descent
I started my descent cold and tired knowing that this is not the easy part. Descending is hard because you're tired from the climb and the angles used by your body can be much more strenuous that those of the ascent. I got immediately lost. Terribly lost. I was backwards and even following the AllTrails direction didn't make any sense to me because it was putting me no where near anything that look familiar or looked like a trail. I kept going and eventually found the trail. And I picked up speed where I could. I got off trail a few more times and made up time where I could.
And then, I saw the father/daughter team. I yelled to them. The responded. I asked if I could follow them down because this was my first time doing Picketpost and I've gotten lost several times already. They replied with a resounding, "of course." We chatted. I learned that they have been hiking Picketpost together on Christmas Eve for the past 10 years. I explained why I was here and how long I'd been hiking and they said, that they couldn't believe I did this with just 5 months of hiking experience, let alone solo. That statement from these two seasoned hikers made me feel good, too. I had done it. I had done it by myself. I knew I could and I did. The trickier parts of the trail passed and we parted ways I really only had about 10-15 minutes with them, but I was grateful for that time that I did not have to think about how to get to where I need to go, I just had to do the work.
The descent continued uneventfully with me pausing and glancing backward occasionally at what I'd just climbed but staying focused on the task at hand. I'd done it. I'd really done it. I knew I could and I did.
Epilogue
Tom wrote me on February 14, 2021 and wished me a happy Valentine's Day. He told me he got back together with his ex-girlfriend, took her on a nice vacation and when they got back he found out she was dating another person and just used him for the vacation. He wanted to know if I was dating anyone.
I said I was sorry that happened to him, and while I appreciated being thought of, my dating life is no longer his concern, and I think karma is real. I then wished him all the best...again.